Dad - Can You Hear Me Now?

Evangelism Part 2
Andrew K. Fox
Year of alignment

Paul is not Timothy's biological father but he had adopted him as his own. The words he spoke were the Lewis and Clark of the younger man's life. The words of a father to a son are more powerful and life shaping than you can imagine. Depression thrives in privacy and the way to break it is not medication but the voice of your father or another man.

Dad, who am I?

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Imagine standing outside with the smell of fresh upturned soil lingering in the air. You are standing on bright green artificial turf surrounded by headstones and tombstones. In front of you is the casket carrying body your father. The minister begins to speak, 'For as much as it has pleased Almighty God in his great mercy to take to himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust…' At that point your heart is crying out gazing at the polished oak, 'who am I, did you really like me, what should I do with my life, who were you?' Your father was the first man you met but didn't meet. He was the first man you knew but never got to know. He was supposed to be the Lewis and Clark of your life as a man. But like Elisha you cry out when Elijah left him 'my father, my father' you stand wounded in the heart. It's not that you mourn the loss of your father but you also mourn the loss of yourself. It is like a cell phone conversation abruptly cut off in mid sentence. "What you heard from me, keep as a pattern of sound teaching…" But what did you hear from your father?

Dad, do I have what it takes?

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Every man in his journey from boyhood to manhood has been cut in the heart at the center of his strength. That wound is rarely discussed and extremely rare to be healed. But it affects all other relationships in that man's life with his own wife and children. The cut to the heart is almost always given by the father. In our early days we first learned to ride a bike, pitch a ball, swing the bat and catch with a glove. Through puberty we discovered the opposite sex and all its allurement. Then we graduated entering our first job. Later we fell in love and got married shortly after presenting our fathers with their first grandchild. Then we invested and made some money realizing the burden of responsibility with maturity. Our fathers are now grandfathers and we sons are now fathers and the cycle continues with each generation acquiring a new title. But one constant is the need for your father to give you the answer to a haunting question at every stage of life: 'Dad, do I have what it takes?' There are so many men trying to prove they are a man because the question is unanswered while at the same time shrinking away from anything that the Bible says is a man. "What you heard from me, keep as a pattern of sound teaching…" But what did you hear from your father?

Dad, will you validate me?

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Men need to be rescued by the active intervention of their fathers or other men. Men need to get out from under their mothers shadow or their wife's shadow. Men are embarrassed at their own emptiness. But man was created not just to be in a relationship with God but to be desperately and vitally dependent on him. Not in a weak and pathetic sense but to live life to the full. Jesus said that he could not do a great deal without his Father. He also said it was like a branch of a tree and the Father was like a tree trunk. He said that he and his Father were inseparable. Salvation for a man is not about being civilized and nice but reclaiming his place as a man inseparable from his father's words. Eve took the forbidden fruit and ate it. Then she offered it to Adam. In that moment we were presented with a choice: validation of who we are from our wife's or from Father God? We chose the wife over God. Think about all the art, poetry, literature, music, screenplays and sculptures. Think of Helen of Troy, Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Princess Diana, Princess Grace Kelly or the characters of Disney in Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White or Arial? Men have made women the center of their universe and an orbit that their world centers around. But the daughters of Eve that don't have Christ at the center of their life are no more than the mythological Sirens that entice men sailing by with their beauty and seductive songs only to devour them. But salvation brings a man into a much bigger orbit that is God who can validate you. What woman can say to her husband, 'What you have heard from me, keep as a pattern of sound teaching?' Drop your fig leaf and stop asking the church to rake your chestnuts out the fire. Come out from your hiding place as a man because God wants to validate you and give you his word that will become a pattern for life. "What you heard from me, keep as a pattern of sound teaching…" But what did you hear from your father?

Dad, am I a man?

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The 1968 release 'Born to be Wild' has more Biblical truth to it than you might think. The Bible tells us that God made man out of the earth then placed him in the perfection of Eden. Our fabric comes from the wild. A father will tell you how to take the wild in you to capture the heart of a woman. The wound in a woman's heart is not like a man. She wants to know: 'am I lovely' and 'is there someone who will pursue me?' Even if her own father answered that question she will look for it in her husband. In every fairytale there is usually a dragon, witch or wicked stepmother. The woman is usually imprisoned in some way. The 'wild' in a man will know how to slay the dragon, destroy the witch and take the wicked stepmother out. But never underestimate the prison walls you have to dismantle. When she journeyed from being a girl to a woman the hurts she incurred built that prison out of solid granite. Men want to fix things but this cannot be fixed. It has to be experienced. But you are King Kong. It is the ability to be strong and climb the Empire State building with a mighty roar and at the same time hold your wife gently in the power of your hand protecting her and as Christ 'giving yourself up for her.' Your father will show you how to fight for the women you love and never let her go. "What you heard from me, keep as a pattern of sound teaching…" But what did you hear from your father?

What you heard from me, keep as a pattern of sound teaching

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(December 2006 section of a personal letter from my own father) 'I am going to sound like even more like one of the Patriarchs of old when I advise you to keep God's financial blessings firmly in the background. They mean so little these days. Thank God for them, but I remind you that God's hand is very much on your life. You will bear much spiritual fruit for the Kingdom of God. Don't let anything stand in your way, or become more important than the Holy calling upon your life. I am so very proud of you. You have been privileged to see many wonderful things in different countries. Well done, but stay humble in spirit and God himself will do all the honoring. To be humble in spirit is one of the hardest things any Christian leader has to master - but victory in this area brings wonderful rewards. I have written this letter from my heart because I love you and see in you even greater things in your service and work for God. These words are not the ramblings of your old dad but are intended that your life will be blessed to the full. You have a good wife and a lovely family. God has already blessed you richly. All my love, your dad.'