Attractions are allurements that can be based on past experiences, memories or associations. What or whom we are attracted to comes from an inner need or you would not be attracted. Need is fuel that creates attraction. Have you ever been on a blind date that a friend arranged and the person just did not fit with you? Has a friend that you did not like given you a gift? Even our closest friends do not know what we are attracted to. When you are making a decision to marry take wise counsel but at the same time that counsel will not have to live with your decision to marry that person. What or whom we are attracted to can be as deadly as a net to a fish. The more you struggle with it the more entangled you get with it. Like an addict who makes solemn promised they cannot keep. God is too wise to put your freedom, liberty and deliverance into the hands of someone or something. The victory is not won externally but internally in the battle of your mind and memories.

My children have had remote control cars. There is a component in the car that responds to the remote controller from some distance away. Once the component in the car has been removed the remote has no power, influence or manipulating control on that vehicle. When someone or something controls your life this way then you are in serious trouble. You cannot stop someone or something playing with the remote control but the apparatus that responds to it can be removed from your life.

We are communal by nature and have a strong desire for community and relationships. We crave the physical touch of the hand, emotional touch of the soul and divine touch of the spirit. But what or whom you have a relationship with is what or whom you are related to. Do not enter a covenant with someone or something that the Bible says you must not be related to.

(Genesis 1:24-25) And God said, 'Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind. And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good."

Although this refers directly to creation there is a principle that seeking forms of union or intimacy are wrong. The biological laws of Old Testament theology are the New Testament spiritual reality.

We are born in the natural and then we are born again spiritually. We die in the natural and if we are not born again there is a second death. Sin separates you from God but the second death separates you from God's presence for eternity. Before a person is born again the remote control of sin manipulates, influences and controls that life. When that person is born again the heart that used to respond to sin is removed like the apparatus from the car and a new component is installed. (Ezekiel 11:19) "I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh." Ephesians and Colossians call this "…the new self…" That 'self' is not an upgraded 'you' but as Colossians says it is "…Christ in you…" Sin will still be sin but it has no control on you.

When you lose a loved one there is a longing to be with that person again because you have connected to them in a loving way. But their limbs have gone cold and rigid like porcelain doll and the hands that used to give affection are still. But even when the person had died it remains unfamiliar to us. Their eyes are closed like drapes at night but beneath the eyelids they seem to be staring. But like a concerto there has been finality and the lost note has been played and the curtain has fallen. People leave the auditorium because it is finished, it is over, and it is done. We would hold the hand of a patient for days but not the hand of the dead. There is a sense of being together with someone who is alive but no sense of being together if someone has died. You are alone because that person has died. You are no longer attracted to the person but the memory and experience of them. Death changes the reality but not the memory.

Why would a Christian who has been made alive in Christ go back to their past and rummage through a graveyard of circumstances and experiences that God says are dead? Why continue to embrace something that has been buried? When God says something is dead then it is dead. People get wrapped up with dead issues because they have not let them go yet. When God says it is dead to bond with it is unholy. An unholy alliance cannot produce holy matrimony. (Philippians 3:13) "But this one thing I do: forgetting what is behind…"

Admit it, quit it, forget it. Intercourse brings two into oneness. Be careful what you allow to become one with you. You cannot live in the past or be filled with the past. There are some things that never receive a resolution. Everything that will not be healed you must forsake. To forsake means you forget. (Hebrews 13:5) "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." God says you must reckon it as dead and stop yielding your body, time, money and strength to a phantom lover. (Romans 6:11-13) "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness." The hand that used to steal now gives. The hand that used to hit now heals. The voice that used to cut down now builds up. The conversations that used to be destructive are now constructive.

Paul was honest enough to admit that all his old issues were not laid to rest. There were moments when he was torn between who he wanted to become and who he used to be. He is an honest testimony who tells the truth. A real witness is hard to find who will not just talk about how they came out of it but how they went through it. Paul tells us that the ghost of Christmas past still haunted him. (Romans 7:24) "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" The most bizarre Biblical punishment for a murderer was to have the victim tied to their back until they were diseased with death and died. This is what Paul mentions in asking 'who' can set him free? (Revelation 5:2-4) "Who is worthy to break the seals and open the scroll?' But no one in heaven or on earth or under the earth could open the scroll or even look inside it. I wept and wept because no one was found who was worthy to open the scroll or look inside." If the story ended at this point we would be lost. (v5) "Do not weep! See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. He is able to open the scroll and its seven seals." If the past is over and God says it is dead there is no need to walk around with an Egyptian mummy on your back, or more literally, in your mind.

There are some things in life you do not want to revive but write the epitaph on the headstone. A funeral gives the family and loved ones an opportunity to resolve in their own minds that someone has gone. But even at the funeral service acceptance is not accepted until the deceased is seen to be buried. When the onlooker sees the burial the deceased only exists now in memory, wisps of moments, shadows and glimpses. Philosophically my grandfather still exists in my father and me. Theologically he exists with Christ. But physically my grandfather does not exist anymore. It is vital that you do not just sing about the death of Christ, read about it in the Bible and hear preaching on it but you must look into the tomb and see that you were buried with Christ. (Romans 6:4) "We were therefore buried with him…" The tomb of Christ is where you were buried. Toss all your past into that tomb and commit to the ground that you were. You must be laid to rest to be born again. The tomb that Joseph gave to the body of Christ is just as much yours as his.

(2 Corinthians 6:17) "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." It is said that Mozart was writing late one night a symphonic masterpiece. The music was the scene of a woman hovering over a loved one. He grew tired and went to bed but sleep was evasive. He has stopped his composing on an augmented chord that waits for something else to follow like being suspended in the air. After hours of unrest he went back to the composition just to write one single note but it bought a sense of ending to it all. He went back to bed and slept like a baby because the struggle was over. You need to kiss goodnight and good-bye dead issues of your life and agree with Christ on the cross "It is finished!" (John 19:30)

If you are finished with where you are and you are ready for where you want to go Christ has made a way. (Romans 6:6) "…our old self was crucified with him…" (Romans 6:4) "We were therefore buried with him…" (Colossians 2:12) "…raised with him…" (Ephesians 2:6) "..seated us with him…" (2 Timothy 2:12) "…reign with him…" The ghost of Christmas past has no hold on you or attraction to you.

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